New Cursed Item:
Beard of the Riker
This item appears to be a normal fake beard and mustache, much like the ones used by actors and spies. When worn, it acts in all manners as a Hat of Disguise
, allowing the wearer to use the disguise self
spell at will, and granting a +5 to all disguise checks.
The insidious nature of this item is not revealed until activated in the presence of a female of any other humanoid species different than that of the wearer. Under these conditions, the wearer will immediately find himself bedecked in a single piece jumpsuit and sporting a substantial paunch. The wearer will then feel compelled to relentlessly hit on any humanoid female of any other species within line of sight, provoking an attack of opportunity from the target. The wearer also receives a -8 penalty to perform (trombone) checks.
The pickup line used is generated randomly from the following table:
1 - "I dream of a galaxy where your eyes are the stars . . . and all the universe worships night."
2 - "What's a knockout like you doing in a computer-generated gin joint like this?"
3 - "You are the heart in my day and the soul of my night."
4 - "Your eyes are as mysterious as the stars."
5 - "You are the most beautiful woman in the galaxy..."
6 - "Your eyes are set to stun, but your looks are set to kill."
7 - "Hey baby, my mustache rides go warp speed."
8 - Roll Again. If another 8 is rolled, then the wearer must seek out a bald human male and immediately shove his nose up the bald man's ass.
This item can only be removed with a remove curse
Item Creation: CL9, Craft Wondrous Item, Alter Self
, Hideous Laughter
. Creator must have at least 5 ranks in perform (trombone).